


sun don’t wanna come out

by and_hera



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Sort Of Fluff, dan’s pov of the reunion scene, excessive use of the em dash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 13:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21180122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/and_hera/pseuds/and_hera
Summary: “Neil,” the officer says, exaggerating the word, “isn’t a real person. It’s just a cover that let Nathaniel evade authorities. It’s past the time to let him go.”If Dan had her way, she wouldn’t be letting Neil go for the rest of his life.or, Dan’s perspective on the reunion scene in Baltimore.





	sun don’t wanna come out

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in about three hours on my phone. there might be typos. it is 2 am i am so sorry  
title from ben platt’s bad habit  
OH all of the dialogue is not mine! it’s straight from the book! nora sakavic! i did all the prose but other than a few added commas she owns all the dialogue

To be completely honest, Dan wasn’t exactly sure what she expected when Neil walked through the door. It wasn’t this, though.

She can barely see his face through all of the bandages, and his hood is drawn up tight around his face. He’s always been short but— but it’s never shown like this before. He’s never been small. Everything about him is drawn in close, from his arms held tightly against his sides to his hunched shoulders and curved back.

Oh, Dan wants to hold this boy in the tightest hug she has ever given. She wants to keep him from anyone who ever hurt him. She wants him to feel safe enough that he never has to tell a lie again. Instead, she falls back onto the bed behind her, having stood up to yell at the officer— she can never remember his name.

His eyes scan the room and she pinpoints the moment when he notices the absence of Andrew. She sees his mouth open to ask but before he can talk, Andrew’s already arrived, Wymack hot on his heels: they’re handcuffed, of course they are. The officer goes to pull his gun.

And—  _ god fucking dammit, Neil _ — he grabs the officer’s arm to pull him back but immediately lets go, hunching over his hands and choking out a “Don’t-“ so quiet Dan can barely make it out. She notices bandages on his hands, and she’s sure they travel up his arms under his hoodie.

She is furious. She has half a mind to get up and give that officer the punch he deserves— but Andrew’s taking care of it. He has a hand on the back of Neil’s neck and pushes him down to his knees, which doesn’t strike Dan as the kindest move but Neil doesn’t argue. His back is to her. She misses his face already, bandaged and all. Andrew crouches to be level with Neil.

“Leave it,” Wymack says to the officer, his voice cold. Andrew is holding Neil’s chin now, staring at him. Dan can see Andrew’s new injury, a bloodshot eye courtesy to what appears to be an elbow to the face. She knows he didn’t get it during the riot. Neil probably doesn’t. Matt’s hand planted firmly on her shoulder is the only thing keeping her from going and punching the man herself.

“They could have blinded you,” Neil says, and something about his voice makes Dan want to turn away. It’s— it’s not soft, really. But it’s not Neil’s trademark snark, not his deadpan, not his shyness. “All that time fighting and you never learned how to duck?”

Dan sees Andrew (so, so gently) pull Neil’s hood down. And she hears the tear of bandages (and winces on Neil’s behalf, Andre isn’t gentle now) as Andrew inspects his injuries. Andrew doesn’t say a word to show his feelings on the matter, but Wymack can’t seem to stop the “Christ, Neil,” falling from his lips.

She wants to see him. They only have twenty minutes. It doesn’t seem fair that Andrew gets to spend all that time staring at Neil. The latest one he promised.

She starts to stand up. “Don’t,” Wymack says, and she flips him off, not really meaning it.

“One at a time,” the officer reminds them, and Dan flips him off too.

Andrew studies Neil, turning his face this way and that. Dan suddenly remembers the very visible bruises on Kevin’s neck. She thinks that maybe Neil isn’t just another promise for Andrew to keep.

“I’m sorry,” Neil says.

Dan closes her eyes for the briefest moment, because Neil why would you apologize this isn’t your fault oh my god— until she opens them again rapidly, watching Andrew. He wouldn’t take this well.

But he— he doesn’t punch Neil, though it looks like the thought crossed his mind.

“Say it again and I will kill you,” Andrew says matter of factly. Dan sits back down. There’s a scuffle where the officer probably threatens them again but she doesn’t even notice because Andrew— Andrew’s voice holds that same impossible softness, even as he threatens Neil.

She tunes in to hear Neil say “You’ll what, asshole?” and that’s  _ him, that’s her Neil Josten _ .

“The same goes for you, Nathaniel,” the second officer says. Neil still isn’t facing the team, just Andrew and Wymack, but Dan can see him stiffen at the name. “That’s your second strike. A third misstep and this is over. Remember you are only here because we are allowing it.”

Dan sighs. Andrew won’t take this one well. He starts to get up and she looks away, not willing to see him get hit by the man again (he mouthed off once earlier and she hasn’t seen him with such fury since he was on the meds and he got shoved so hard—) but Matt’s breath catches.

She can see Neil’s hands, covered in white bandages, framing Andrew’s face. Andrew is frozen, halfway to standing up but not quite sitting down. After a(nother) moment of staring at Neil, he allows himself to be tugged back to Neil’s level.

“Don’t lie to a liar,” Neil says, and the difference between how he speaks to Andrew and how he speaks to the officer is astounding. “We both know I’m here because you have nothing without me. A pile of dead bodies can’t close cases or play the money trail with you. I told you what those answers would cost you and you agreed to pay it. So take this handcuff off of Andrew, get your man out of the way, and stop using up my twenty minutes with your useless posturing.”

Dan squeezes Matt’s hand. Her heart is pounding. She missed Neil; he had only been gone for a day but hearing him go off on someone reminded her that things will (maybe) be okay again.

A beat passes, but the officer gives in. His assistant releases Andrew from Wymack and they retreated to the doorway of the room.

“So the attitude problem wasn’t an act, at least,” Andrew says.

“I was going to tell you,” Neil replies, albeit weakly.

“Stop lying to me.”

“I’m not lying. I would have told you last night, but they were in our locker room.”

Dan is about to ask before she’s cut off by the officer: “They who?”

Neil rattles something off in German, and Dan sighs. She knows she’ll get answers later. She leans her head on Matt’s shoulder. She’s so tired.

Her team just can’t catch a break, can they? Her Foxes. First was last year’s fiasco, then Seth, and now Neil. 

Dan isn’t the sweet one on the team: that’s Renee. She isn’t the pretty, perfect one: that’s Allison. She’s fierce. She’s a fighter. She would take on the world than let any of her teammates get hurt like this again.

Nicky makes a terrible noise from where he’s standing next to the bed, and Aaron gets up from his seat next to Dan. She had almost forgotten they also knew German. 

Neil whips his head around to see who is moving and Dan forgets everything other than the sight in front of her.

She turns her head quickly, but the image is burned into her eyes. Criss-crossing lines decorating one of Neil’s cheeks, already scars. Worse, a burn— a burn that’s somehow surrounded by other scars— perfectly covering the “4” left on Neil’s cheek from his time with the Ravens.

She tightens her grip on Matt’s arms. She can feel him tensing to get up, but the last thing Neil needs right now is more people looking at him up close. He relaxes after a minute, giving in, but he still mutters a broken “Jesus, Neil, the fuck did they do to you?”

Out of the corner of her eye, Dan can see someone moving, but it’s Andrew who clues her in to who it is. He looks ferocious. 

“Get away from us,” Andrew growls, and Abby stops in her tracks. 

“Andrew,” she says, quiet and careful. “He’s hurt. Let me see him.”

“If you make me repeat myself, you will not live to regret it.”

But Neil has his fingers in Andrew’s hair now, and Dan sees him tug once, twice, before Andrew returns his gaze to him.

“Abby,” Neil says, his eyes still trained on Andrew, “I just got out of the hospital. I’m as good as I can be right now.”

“Neil,” she protests, but Dan tries to catch her eye as subtly as she can. Now is not the time, she tries to say. Not now. 

“Please,” Neil says. And Abby relents, backing up to the side of the room. Neil whispers something in German.

Dan looks away. She doesn’t really know why. It’s just— she isn’t sure when this happened, but there is something between Andrew and Neil that she feels like she shouldn’t touch. Like it’s just theirs and no one else’s. Of course, Aaron will be watching over his brother and Allison will be expecting money by the end of the night and Nicky will be losing his mind that his own cousin swings the opposite way he expects, but Dan wants to give them this little bit of privacy. For whatever it’s worth.

She wishes for the briefest moment that maybe she never joined the Foxes. Maybe if she had stuck with the bar, with her sisters, she would have been okay. She wouldn’t be feeling this  _ pain _ deep in her chest, this pang of  _ sadness _ .

But then again, she thinks, tucking her face into Matt’s chest, that pain just means she has people she cares about now. Matt, Allison, Renee, Neil, hell, even the fucking monsters.

“You aren’t going anywhere,” Andrew says in English, and Dan slowly looks up, processing his words. “You’re staying with us. If they try to take you away, they will lose.”

“Take you away,” Dan repeats, her voice hoarse. “To where?”

“Are we talking about ‘away for some questioning’ or ‘away for good’?” Matt asks.

“Both,” the officer answers, cutting in to the conversation. He stands up from where he has been leaning on the wall of the room.

“You can’t have him,” Nicky says, and Dan nods decisively. “He belongs with us.”

“When people find out he is still alive, they will come for him,” the officer warns. “It is not safe for him here anymore and it sure as hell isn’t safe for you. It is better for everyone if he disappears.”

If it’s better for everyone, Dan muses, why did Neil just grip Andrew’s hair a little tighter?

Dan remembers what Kevin told them on the bus after Andrew nearly choked the life out of him (she should have picked up on their relationship much earlier, now that she’s looking back on it). She knows why it’s unsafe for Neil. She also knows that she doesn’t give a shit.

“What part of ‘go to hell’ do you need us to explain to you?” Allison mouths off, echoing Dan’s thoughts exactly. 

She feels Matt inhale before speaking: “We’re all legal adults here. We’ve made our decision. Unless he wants to stay with you, you’d better bring Neil back to us when you’re done with all your questions.”

“Neil,” the officer says, exaggerating the word, “isn’t a real person. It’s just a cover that let Nathaniel evade authorities. It’s past the time to let him go.”

If Dan had her way, she wouldn’t be letting Neil go for the rest of his life.

“Neil or Nathaniel or whoever,” Nicky says, “he’s ours, and we’re not letting go. You want us to vote on it or something? Bet you it would be unanimous.” 

The officer, looking more exasperated than ever (which is a feat in itself), turns to Wymack. “Coach Wymack,” he begins, “talk some sense into your team.”

“Neil,” Wymack says. He looks at Neil for a moment, holding his gaze. Dan— Dan can remember one time when she saw him wear that expression, years ago. When she broke down from the press destroying her for being captain for the first time. When she sat in his office and he listened to her talk and, as awkward as it was, gave her a hug and all the love she never had.

“Talk to me,” he says. “What do you want?”

Neil’s half facing the team, letting Dan see his whole profile and see him noticeably swallow. She can barely hear him, his words are so jagged and laid bare.

“I want—“ he takes a breath— “I know I shouldn’t stay, but I can’t— I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to lose any of you. I don’t want to be Nathaniel anymore. I want to be Neil for as long as I can.”

Dan knows it’s an odd thought to have while looking at Neil’s face, scarred and burned to hell, and looking at her team, broken and torn apart, but her heart is so full. 

Neil wants to stay. Things will never be okay. But they’ll be better.

“Good,” Wymack says, after a beat. “I’d have a hell of a time fitting ‘Wesninski’ on a jersey.”


End file.
